Why am I still here?

So! Guess what I'm doing! Blogging from my PHONE!!! Yep, just downloaded the app. I figured since whenever I do get the idea to blog about something I'm never near my computer, and I don't really have people who read the other blog I have, I just got this one as well!

Anyway, the point of this post is to talk about why I'm still here in Utah. I have no clue. I know why I came out here (silly me), and now I feel like I'm just stuck out here for no reason at all. But that's just how the military is, you get stationed somewhere stateside, and you're stuck there for who knows how long. I can't help but wonder though, if there's a reason why I'm still in this state. Is it really just the military, or does God have something else in store for me? I'm sure most (if not all) of you have realized that I'm quite the inactive Mormon girl... Haven't been to church in months, I drink (occasionally, and only after I came back from leave without my daughter), haven't ready scriptures consistently... I just haven't been very active in the church lately. Going to church every Sunday and going to activities with a singles ward is depressing. Going to a family ward is depressing. At least for me, seeing as I'm a single parent, it was. I don't fit anywhere. So I stopped going. A certain someone got married, and I questioned why I even became a member. I decided to go back to the basics of what my parents have taught me, but I've yet to find a church that I feel comfortable going to every week. Now, I can't help but wonder why that is. Part of me is like, "well DUH, God is telling you to go back to being LDS again." Another part of me isn't so sure. I don't know why I'm still here in Utah... Am I supposed to meet someone? Go back to being LDS? I don't know. I really wish I was better at listening and... Recognizing when God tells me something or answers a prayer or whatever, because I honestly have. I idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now. What I wouldn't give for some neon signs pointing me in the right direction...