Back to where it all began

So, in case you couldn't tell, I'm kinda on a RENT kick right now and it's bringing back some memories. For instance, right now I'm reminded of when I first realized that I had a crush on Sam, and I fell pretty darn hard for him. I mean, I secretly liked him, but that Homecoming of our Junior year of high school... Well, my Homecoming anyway, I think we both just new. It's actually a pretty funny (and scary) story...

It started at my high school's Homecoming football game, and a mutual friend of ours came to the game and brought Sam with her. The reason that he came was because his ex gf went to my school, and they wanted to really make her jealous so they pretended that they were a couple to see how she'd react. I don't remember what her reaction was, all I can remember is looking at Sam and our friend holding hands, and how I wished that he were holding mine instead. Silly me, not realizing that it being the fall and all that a shirt and hoodie probably wouldn't keep me warm once it got later into the night, at this point I'm noticing that I can't feel my fingers and I'm REALLY wishing that Sam would just take my hands already because I kinda got the feeling that he wanted to even though he was playing this charade with our friend... Anyway, the night goes on, and as it gets colder I get colder and my fingers are now a bluish purple. We're in the bleachers and that's when the shaking started. It wasn't bad at first, but then I suppose the cold REALLY set in and they got pretty bad. I can't remember who it was, but someone gave me something ( I think it was a jacket) to try to help keep me warm, and I survived to the end of the game (although I couldn't tell you who won...I can't remember if that was the year our team really sucked or not haha). ANYWAY, later on down the road, after we actually started dating, we talked about that Homecoming game...What we both found interesting is that the entire time I was wishing he'd hold my hand, HE was wishing he could hold my hand too. And that's pretty much when we admitted that we had liked each other for awhile, but other relationships happened before ours so it delayed it a little bit...

And in case you were wondering (for those who actually read my rantings LOL), the reason why RENT brings back memories is because when it came out in the movie theaters, our little high school group went to see it and we dressed up as the characters. Naturally, Sam and I went as Collins and Angel which worked perfectly because Collins is a bass and Sam's a bass and Angel...Well I can sing his/her parts so it's all good haha. Ever since then we've had inside jokes about starting our own restaurant in Santa Fe, and on one of the cd's he made me, my FAVORITE RENT song is on there, "I'll Cover You". Ah, I love that song so much...Anyway, watching that movie tonight/ this morning just brought back all of those memories, and now I'm really missing my Collins and wishing that I could call or text him or something to let him know that I love and miss him...