STALLED

It's days like today where I wish that I could just pick up the phone and text my best friend. While I'm happy that I went to Church even though I didn't want to, Gospel Essentials was not my favorite part of the day. Someone made a comment that was more hurtful than funny (which was what he intended), and it really upset me and kinda threw me off the rest of the lesson and Relief Society *sigh* Of course, I can't call or text my best friend because he's on his mission, so I'm left to my own devices on how to get over it I guess. It's just depressing sometimes that during those hard, upsetting times when I would normally call my best friend to talk, I have to settle for a letter or just writing in my journal. I've written in my travelling journal about it- well about the lesson (which was on the Law of Chastity- not the most comfortable subject for me for obvious reasons), and the part that bothered me the most was the whole thing about how the First Presidency counseled that a baby of unwed parents should be put up for adoption if the parents are unable to get married for whatever reason so the baby can live with temple worthy parents. Which got me to thinking, maybe I'm being selfish by not putting her up for adoption and by keeping her instead (and by her I mean Arianna)? For that matter, she's not even with me- she's with my parents in VA which makes me feel even MORE selfish because I feel like I'm shirking my responsibilities of being a mom, even though my parents don't mind taking her, I still feel bad...*sigh* So much confusion going on in my head, and not really anyone to talk to about it...*sigh*