Oh-my-goodness...

There's an app on my phone called notepad, and before I got this one, that's what I used to blog for awhile. Mainly whenever I needed to vent. A great majority of those notes mention how I regret not giving Arianna up for adoption, and in one note I was just plain mean to her. I blamed my parents for guilt-tripping me into keeping her, and how I should've stuck with my original plan to give her up.

I'm a horrible person. Not to say that I don't think that still, but I feel like a horrible person for even thinking those thoughts. I mean, in the end it was my choice, but at the same time, I felt like I didn't have one. I don't know. But reading those notes made me feel horrible for thinking that way.