There are no words...

For how this song makes me feel. There are no words to describe just how...amazing Adele is. This song, I think, sums up what I'm thinking sometimes when I look back on the past and how things were, and how things could've ended up. No, I'm not looking back and beating myself up for my mistakes (although I WILL admit to doing that), but like it says in the song, it's more of a bittersweet taste/feeling. I don't know. I just love this song, I love her voice, I love how her music (and the music of others like her) always seems to speak to me and whatever I'm thinking or feeling in the back of my mind/heart. That's what music is supposed to do- make you feel something deep down inside of you. One of these days, a song will actually make me cry instead of only bringing tears to my eyes from the memories.

Hey there, confusion. I feel like we've met before... Oh wait. We have.

So in case you couldn't tell, I am, once again, confused. Confused about my faith and what I believe beyond the basics, confused about what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to go in my life... And if you know me, I HATE not knowing things. I find it frustrating because I don't know if what I'm doing is leading me in the right direction or further away from where I'm supposed to be. I don't know what to do with what I believe, or if it's even right. Well, that's not worded correctly. I know what I believe, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know if I should be LDS. I just don't know. Maybe I made the wrong decision five years ago... Not to say that the LDS faith is true, because I honestly don't know. Who really knows? We just have our faith and what we believe. I just want to be Christian, is that so bad? Why does there have to be denominations to make things way more confusing that what it really is? *sigh*

You know what? Here's what I believe. I believe that Jesus Christ was born of Mary, taught the doctrine of Heavenly Father, performed miracles and healed the sick. I believe that He died for our sins and rose from the dead three days later, thus defeating death and the grave for all of us so that we may live with Him and our Heavenly Father in Heaven for all of eternity. I believe that in order to live with Christ and Heavenly Father for eternity we must have faith, believe in His teachings and do our best to follow them, repent of our sins (and continue to do so), and be baptized in His name. I believe that one day He will come back for His people.

And that's it. If there's more to it, I'm fairly certain God will make it known to me. But until then, I'm sticking with that.

Til next time...

My perfect Sunday and a dress

Today I was thinking about what my perfect Sunday would be like (inspired by a post by my Twin!)... It would consist of my daughter playing quietly with her toys in the playroom or in the living room while watching Veggie Tales or some other learning or Sunday appopriate children's show. I'm on a rather large couch, large enough to stretch out on and be extra comfortable (the LoveSac couches come to mind, those look extremely comfortable), wrapped in the arms of a handsome (by my standards) significant other (be it boyfriend, fiance- not live in though, just visiting, or husband), watching Arianna watch TV and watching it with her. The sun is setting and through the blinds, the colors radiating off the walls. Even with Arianna and all her noise making, it's a peaceful afternoon. My heartbeat matches that of the one holding me, and I smile, closing my eyes and wondering how on earth I could be so lucky to be blessed with my own little family.

Onto the dress! I was watching Say Yes to the Dress the other day, and of course that triggers looking at dresses online. I know that I don't want a long dress, because I don't want to have to worry about dragging the bottom of my dress on the ground and getting dirty, or myself or other people stepping on it. Which leads to my decision to go with knee length dresses (which are apparently called tea length. I like it.). That led to me looking at 50s style wedding dresses, because I think they're REALLY classy and modest and just so darn cute! So I was looking at different dresses, and I think I found one (maybe two) dress(es) that I absolutely LOVE:

This one would have full sleeves and possibly a slightly higher neckline, if they can pull it off.

Anyway, I was NOT expecting to find a dress this quickly. And yes, I know that I'm single; I refuse to let that stop me from dreaming about getting married and looking at dresses and coming up with little ideas that I would like for my wedding. A girl can dream, right?

Til next time :)

Oh- I forgot to mention where I found these lovely dresses. HERE IT IS!!!

Life Update!

I suppose it's time for a life update! I usually write in my journal for daily things like this, but today I'm doing things different. So... let's do an update!


My life is going all right... Work is the same as usual, so I can't really complain there. I also started my Public Speaking class this past week, and the instructor is amusing. He's this little old guy who tends to ramble on about...Well I'm not really sure haha. The class is pretty small, and we all fit in a conference room. It's funny, I missed the first day of class because I couldn't find the darn building. I talked to the college reps on base that have the class, and they showed me where it was on the map- I was on that same road, I just didn't go down far enough *kicks self*. I'm excited about taking the class, maybe it will help me get over my fear of talking in front of large groups of people.

I started following an actual budget plan this month! I was doing really well with not touching the extra money left over after bills, but the grocery shopping trip from this last paycheck definitely cut into my bank account, and then it kinda got out of control from there... BUT I'm back on track with putting my check card back where I put my other cards once I take my cash out of the ATM so I'm not tempted to use it. It's helpful because I'm trying to save up for my flight home, along with some things I'll need for Arianna!

Speaking of Arianna, it's only a few more months until I fly home for Christmas and New Years, and then I'll be back here in Utah with Arianna! I'm super excited about it, and nervous at the same time. I mean, it's been two years. Not only will I have to learn who she is, I also have to be a mom to her at the same time. It's going to be SO crazy...But I'm looking forward to it : ) I'm also planning on moving on base before I head home, mainly for convenience in being closer to work AND I don't have to pay for utilities! This is also where the budgeting comes into play, and every penny that I can save and keep into my account will help move me in and (hopefully) my flight home! can you tell how I'm excited I am? Because I'm pretty excited about it.

Let's see... What else can I talk about? Oh! So, there's this guy that I've been talking to (like, actually having a conversation, not whatever these younger kids are calling "talking" these days...) for the past few weeks. We used to work together in Korea two years ago, and every now and then we'd message each other and chat on Facebook. And now we're talking :) It's only on the phone, because he's in Alaska, but it's nice. I enjoy talking to him, and listening to him talk. I'm interested to see where this goes, especially with us being so far apart.

In my single's ward, we started a scripture reading challenge ( actually, I think it's a stake-wide challenge...) where in 90 days we have to read the 4 Gospels in the New Testament (for those who don't know what they are, it's Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) and 3rd Nephi in the Book of Mormon. We even have a bookmark type of handout to cross off the days that we've read. I'll admit that I've been a slacker lately with reading, but I'm working on that. Anyway, I'm still in Matthew right now, but I must say (and this will probably sound horrible in regards to my scripture reading), I've learned SO much about Christ and how he treats others... I especially like how He teaches in parables. At first I didn't understand what they were saying, but when He would explain to the disciples, it all made sense! I'm excited to read more about Christ, His life, and His teachings : ) I'm grateful for this challenge, because if it wasn't for this I wouldn't be learning all that I'm learning.

As for my hair... For the first time since I did my BC (big chop), I did a protein treatment. My hair LOVED it! I was so happy with the results, that I decided to try doing finger coils using this new gel that I bought the other day, ElastaQP liquid gel. My hair also loves this stuff. Although the finger coils were an epic fail, my hair is STILL super soft, even after my hair dried. Usually with using gel (especially with the amount that I used, which was a LOT), my hair gets super hard and crunchy after my hair dries, and I hate it. Not with ElastaQP. It's STILL soft to the touch. It could also be in part to the protein treatment that I did- that really defined my curls. Definitely a keeper product for my hair. As for styling my hair, I don't even know what to do with it right now. It's not long enough to braid it without using extensions, and flat twists don't really hold in my hair... I can't just wear my little afro much longer because it will keep growing. So, I'm left with the option of braids with extensions. I'm thinking about either doing braids with hair extensions, or doing yarn braids again. I tried yarn braids before, but my hair wasn't long enough to really hold them in and the braids weren't long enough... Now that I'm armed with new tips, I can pull these off better! Plus, I can do these myself without spending ANY money (I still have yarn from the first time I put these in)!

So... I think that's it! Til next time!

Random? Why yes, yes it is.

It's 1:15 am here, and I have to be up at 5:30 am for my Public Speaking class at 7 am. Why am I up, you ask? I'm not entirely sure- I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I work swing shift, and I'm used to being up until 3 am? This class on Monday mornings is going to be crazy, but at least this is the only day that I have to be up at the butt crack of dawn (the other days for this class are thursday and Friday). I'm not really sure why I'm blogging right now, I guess I'm just bored and don't really have anything else to do. Well, I could sleep but I really don't feel like it right now. I have a feelign I will be struggling to stay awake on my first day of class- and I don't even know where the building is on top of that. *sigh* I can tell this is going ot be the beginning of an interesting week...

Another thing. I've decided to keep my crochet braids in for another few weeks. I mean, a lot of work was put in to getting these things done, and my plan was to keep them in for a few months anyway. So for now the plan is to just keep my scalp oiled and moisturized and cleanse my scalp at least once a week and then just see how my hair feels from there. Hopefully it continues to grow and not break off too much :) Shedding is okay, breakage, not so much : /

And I think that's it. I'm not going to head to bed just yet, but I'm sure I will soon out of sheer boredom LOL.

Til next time!

Crochet braids and privacy

So- it's been almost a week since I've had my crochet braids, and honestly, I don't think my hair will make it the full 3 months of having these in. It's just a lot of stress on my actual hair, what with pulling it up into a bun for work (which really pulls at the back of my head), and the fact that maybe my cornrows are just a little too tight, I dunno. I'll hold out for the rest of this week (until Sunday), and then maybe keep them in for a few more weeks after. I'm already looking into another protective style for the upcoming winter months, and I'm leaning toward getting a sew-in. With wavy or curly hair.

As for the privacy part of this blog title, I'm contemplating making my blog private. I haven't had issues with people who read my blog (I don't even know if people read this thing anyway LOL), it's just when I have those times when I really need to blog about something personal because writing in my journal won't cut it (because let's face it, I type faster than I write), I like knowing that I have another outlet to vent on without worrying about what people will have to say about it. So, with that being said, if any of you who actually read my blog would like to keep reading it, please message me your email through Facebook! I don't really have a set deadline for when my blog will go private, but I figured a heads-up would be the nice thing to do :)

I am...

For the past few days, I've been thinking about who I am. Not the basic stuff like mother, daughter, sister, things like that, but I guess things that I do that make me who I am. So to help get this out of my head, I thought what better way than to blog about it! Here it goes then, my list of "I am".

I am a(n)...

reader.

writer.

homebody.

picker (and not a nose-picker either *gross*. It's more of a physical picking at myself, which I do when I'm nervous or fidgety, and a mental picker, because I'm always picking at myself and things that I don't like about me. Make sense?).

day-dreamer.

procrastinaor.

student (almost put learner...lol).

ear to listen to.

shoulder to cry on.

firm believer in true love.

lion in sheep's wool (almost put clothing).

person who tends to zone out while driving sometimes.

mumbler to myself person.

person who is skilled at randomly forgetting things.

what's that word for people who have a hard time falling asleep...?

list-writer.

sometimes, a lazy bum (I'll admit it).

the listener of an interesting choice of Pandora radio stations.

dog and cat lover.

worrier.

budding couponer.

And I'm sure this list could go on, but it's late, and my brain is tired.

Til next time...

I'm so excited!!!

Today (well, ridiculously early this morning) I put together my coupon book! It took forever for me to find the baseball card sleeves in Wal-Mart, but I'm happy that I stuck with it and asked for help until I found them (even though I was exhausted from today- it just seemed to last FOREVER. And by today, I mean Monday). There aren't a lot of coupons in my book, but thanks to a few REALLY friendly people on Facebook, I've been given ideas and suggestions and tips for getting coupons without having to buy 5 copies of the Sunday paper! I can't wait to get to ordering and printing off coupons and start saving money! : D

An interesting article

 I saw this article posted on Facebook, and found it to be quite interesting. The author brought up some good points as well. Check it out {HERE}